Sigh.....

Am wrestling with something today. What comes to mind is that I am too busy to wrestle with this today. BUT. I can't put it off. If I do, my flesh will rise up and make something of this situation that it's not.

I know what I am wrestling with. I want to be angry. I want to defend myself. I want to be upset and tell everyone of the injustice of it all. I want people to side with me, because if they side with me, that means they love me and accept me, right? I want to rise to the top of this a victor. All because I am RIGHT. Right?

There. Said it all. Ugly stuff. My flesh is screaming right about now. Because what is in me is stronger than the ugly flesh that is crying out. My spirit reminds me of Jesus. He was murdered. He was spat upon, beaten within an inch of His life and had His flesh torn off Him because of a bunch of offended people. But He didn't defend Himself. He didn't enlist in the help of the Heavenly Host. He took it because it was the Will of His Father. He did it for me. And you.

Truth is, it doesn't even matter what happened. What matters is my response to what happened. Another truth; I do not have to be validated by being right. I am validated by Christ crucified. No matter if I am right, do my actions point people to Jesus? Do others feel loved and accepted by my actions or do they feel judged and somehow inadequate? Oh, I know there will be those beloved people who will be offended with me just because I breath, but how am I showing them the love of Jesus, the Hope that resides within me? What is my response going to be to them?

My beautiful Lord reminded me of this scripture as I cried out to Him:

Romans 12:3, and 9-21

3 For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.
17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”[a] says the Lord. 20 Therefore if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”[b] 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

My bible says that when we avenge ourselves, we are trying to take God's place. I know that there is no room for me on the Throne of the Lord. My prayer today is that I will live this scripture. Lord knows I will need His help in this. But I am assured that He will indeed help me. He loves me too much not to. More of You, Lord and less of me.