OK, based on popular demand (Angie), I am updating this rag. First, this is what has been going on:
I am still in Florida, going and doing as the Lord leads. I am currently unemployed (again). I am a part of a church plant, leading a small team of dedicated intercessors. The Lord is moving and shaking all that can be moved and shaken. I am also working on setting up my freelance writing business.
My son is in college and I am so proud to say, growing deeper and stronger in the Lord everyday. He is being mentored by some amazing, godly men. He has found a terrific, Spirit-filled church and is on their worship team both playing guitar and singing. He sings prophetically (something I KNEW was going to be made manifest in his life), and even his prayer language is of a melodic nature! He has recently been invited to lead worship for a men's conference in Tennessee. This is so exciting, not only to him, but to me as I know one his greatest fears was to miss what the Lord was calling him to do...you know, we have all been there! But, the Lord is proving Himself to my son. Thankfully, there are wonderfully strong, christian men pouring into his life, speaking sound biblical truth over and into him! When we follow the Lord in absolute obedience, there is no way we can miss His will for us! We fall right into it. He is in a dorm full of guys who love the Lord and they all regularly pray and fast. What an environment for growth. That is what is happening with Steve. Did I say I was proud of him??
The other day, as I was driving home from a meeting, I was thinking about my ambitions. You know, those things that you are wanting or even hoping to accomplish in the season you are in. Well, as excited as I have been about being down here doing what God has called me to do, the Lord showed me that I had gotten impatient. This impatience has led to tremendous discouragement. I am ashamed to admit that I had been very close to hanging up the towel and moving on. I had my eyes on the physical realm, where seemingly, nothing was happening. The incredible things that the Lord has had me declare and pray over for over 18 months had yet to be made manifest in the natural.
So after a painful and awesome time of repentance, the Lord removed the discouragement and gave me a heart that is dedicated to pleasing Him, and not my selfish ambitions. All the dreams of grandeur are gone, and I am determined to finish well the job the Lord has sent me here to do. I will not fall prey to becoming critical (even in my thoughts) of leadership already in place, but will faithful serve the Lord no matter the capacity. My promotion comes from the Lord and no man. This scripture says it beautifully:
Psalm 84 (The Message)
A Korah Psalm
1-2 What a beautiful home, God-of-the-Angel-Armies! I've always longed to live in a place like this,
Always dreamed of a room in your house,
where I could sing for joy to God-alive!
3-4 Birds find nooks and crannies in your house,
sparrows and swallows make nests there.
They lay their eggs and raise their young,
singing their songs in the place where we worship.
God-of-the-Angel-Armies! King! God!
How blessed they are to live and sing there!
5-7 And how blessed all those in whom you live,
whose lives become roads you travel;
They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks,
discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain!
God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and
at the last turn—Zion! God in full view!
8-9 God-of-the-Angel-Armies, listen:
O God of Jacob, open your ears—I'm praying!
Look at our shields, glistening in the sun,
our faces, shining with your gracious anointing.
10-12 One day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship,
beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches.
I'd rather scrub floors in the house of my God
than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin.
All sunshine and sovereign is God,
generous in gifts and glory.
He doesn't scrimp with his traveling companions.
It's smooth sailing all the way with God-of-the-Angel-Armies
Verse 12 says, "I'd rather scrub floors in the house of my God than be an honored guest in the palace of sin." This does it for me. No more selfish ambition. Those doors are closed to me. My ambition is in the Lord, and Jesus crucified.
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